So I generally keep my personal drama off my Facebook, Twitter and this blog. This summer that is going to change and I'm going to share a bit more of my life - the good and the bad. My goal is to put myself out there.
That said, this is difficult to write.
A lot of people assume because I present a smile to the world that my life is easy and happy. I struggle. Just like every one struggles. Some days I don't want to get out of bed. Others I wonder if leaving the 9-5 world was the best idea. Most days I can set this angst, ennui or general funk aside and get work done. Today I didn't. My to do list remains untouched, my projects gathered a layer of dust and I spent the day in bed.
Lately I've been hard on myself over some drama at my last job. It was a job that I loved, but paid badly. In May, someone I loved dearly came at me with anger and it really changed my mindset about the gig. It's on hiatus right now, but I have no plans on returning. It's a difficult choice because as an artist and a self employed person that little bit of low pay was a nice security blanket. So I worry.
I find it funny that writing personal stuff is so difficult. Most of my friends and family know I'll share pretty much anything. I'll let anyone read anything in my very personal sketchbooks and I'll even share your business. Not in a deliberately mean or gossipy way, but just because it's a good story.
So why does writing my thoughts online feel so permanent? Generally the books - paper and pen bound with glue and string - have a greater permanence to me, but I guess sorting through that awkwardness will be part of this journey.
I will keep up the posts about the artists that inspire me, journeys around the bay area, and blogs I follow. In addition, I'll share some of my collections, ephemera and memorabilia. I also plan on doing some writing on feminism, body politics and other issues that I feel strongly about.